Welcome to the Warpstone Wild-Kin!

(Wissenberg) The following is an excerpt from the Wissenland Enquirer regarding a hot new team to join the GNRBBL this season, the Warpstone Wild-Kin:

New Tournament Team Signs Up for Famous Gnurbl League

The Warpstone Wild-Kin are the latest newcomers to the exciting new season of Gnurbl tournament play.

Owned by mysterious newcomer Paddyrag O’Numbskull, these rat-men provide an element of speed into the league. But if you think there is no brawn in their team, don’t get in the way of the monstrous Bane, a “rat ogre” straight out of nightmares!

Paddyrag elaborates on how he acquired the team:

“Well, it was they who found me, actually! I had recently come off the boat from Irateland and was staying at this small, smelly guest house at the outskirts of Miragliano. One evening while making my way back from the pub, I was resting a bit, leaning up against a comfortable street corner – you know, as you do when you’re not feeling well after having had a steak pie that smelled a bit off and you’ve been trying to rinse the taste out with a few pints of heavy stout, that sort of thing, when I suddenly got accosted by this strange-looking rat man.

“I had to squint a bit to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, but this fella, Steelwhiskers, he says that he can make me rich, you know, if I would become the manager of his outfit, the Warpstone Wild-Kin. Says to me that they needed a man-thing manager (whatever that is) to speak to the league administrators because they are only new in town. He was waving his knife around a lot and the rest of the team was there somewhere in the shadows, so I was thinking to meself, you know, this would maybe be a good opportunity. I heard there was lots of gold in those local tournaments and the rules can’t be much different than the Gall-Ick Football that we play at home, so I thought, feck it, why not, you know.

“And Steelwhiskers seemed like an all right fella too, a bit loose with the old knife, though, but he has promised that I will get a fair share of the winnings and so far I’ve only had to help with some paperwork and such, he handles all the team training aspects, you know, calling out to the team in their squeaky language and cracking the whip, like literally cracking the whip, actually, he gives them a good drubbing quite a bit, but he says that their god will be happy, the horny one or whatever he calls him, bit of a strange name actually, but to each their own, as we say back home, and I’m glad Steelwhiskers is there with the whip when the big fella, Bane, gets a bit too excited, he tends to throw some of the smallers ones quite far and they don’t always get up at first, but then they always find a cousin of the player, or some such who can stand in – quite a few of them about, Steelwhiskers says anyway, but I can’t remember really seeing any other rat men before, but they sure are fast, so those other teams better beware!

“Well, we still haven’t actually played a game yet, but I’m sure they will do well, I mean I have been trying to give them some real Irate encouragement, to be true, to be true, but we are still working on the language barriers, you know, because only Steelwhiskers speaks our language and theirs, but I think I got a squeak right the other day when I was complimenting one of the small fellas on his running, although it started with throwing a few weird star shaped metal pieces my way, maybe their local currency, they were quite sharp so don’t know how that works, and…. ”

(Interview cut short due to lack of space.)

Well, there you have it, folks, there is a new team in town and although it seems a slightly bizarre outfit, Manager O’Numbskull cuts an enthusiastic figure and it will be interesting to follow the team’s exploits when the season kicks off!

Well, that does indeed look interesting! We are also in discussions with a few other teams and will let you know of any developments as soon as they happen. ⚅

First Team to Join the League

Friedrich-Wilhelm von Burgdorf

(Altdorf) It has just been confirmed that the Burgdorf Barons will join the GNRBBL! The “Red Barons” have been around for a while, but only recently joined the pro circuit. The team was founded by Baron Karl-Heinz Hermann von Burgdorf, father of current owner Baron Friedrich-Wilhelm von Burgdorf.

They are called the Barons, because when Karl-Heinz founded the team originally, the whole team was made up of relatives of his which also held the title of baron (or “Freiherr” as it is used correctly in the far-flung reaches of the Empire). There are many tiny baronies in the northern forests of the Ostermark and most of their rulers are related to Karl-Heinz, so putting together a Blood Bowl team of all-baron family members was quite feasible and generally considered a smashing idea.

Pretty soon, it was decided that this was, in fact, a very stupid idea. Mostly because the team was quickly running out of family members to field – what with all the deaths and crippling injuries. Nowadays, Karl-Heinz’ son Friedrich-Wilhelm runs a much more conventional Blood Bowl team made up of hired players. The name stuck, though, which is why the red-clad players are to this day referred to as “The Barons”.

The team is coached by the very capable Fab von Schertz and bookkeepers are already reported to have them pegged as a favourite to win the first Gnurbl season. Rumours that this is mostly due to the fact that their coach is also the League Commissioner are completely baseless, of course. Von Schertz is as honourable a man as is imaginable and sources close to the Gazette speak very highly of his character and motivations. The league is therefore honoured and excited to welcome this magnificent team to the proceedings. ⚅

Nuffle be Praised!

(Altdorf) Due to finally seeing the light and coming back to love the greatest game of them all, I have decided to create my very own Blood Bowl league and name myself League Commissioner. I haven’t played this game since I was a kid but I am convinced we must play more of it! Any rumours that my recent enthusiasm has everything to do with the Game Wizards recently releasing a brand new boxed game are, of course, completely baseless.

Since I don’t have any friends – for if they were real friends, they would surely play Blood Bowl with me – the plan is to set up an online league, possibly using FUMBBL. Cyanide’s Blood Bowl 2 is another option, of course.

I am currently looking for coaches to join the league and enter a team. If you think you’d be up for a season of 6 – 10 matches plus playoffs with a group of total beginners, let me know via fab@sixgun.org immediately. We’re probably looking at a match of two hours max every other week here. That should be doable for most people. And remember: Blood Bowl is a lot of fun so you’ll probably laughing your arse off most of the time. Well, the part of the matches when Nuffle isn’t cursing your dice. So… maybe some of the time. Come on already, let’s do this! ⚅